well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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