marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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