I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
