I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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