dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I want is dick and wine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
