my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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