I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize