i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
