Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
