Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
