Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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