if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My ATM looks so different sober.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
