I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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