He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
