So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
