I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need a beard to bite.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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