Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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