Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
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