Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
it glows. i had to have it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
