she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I sprained my soul last night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
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