VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
