I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Everyone says I win the strip club
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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