So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
