you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
