i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
nutella sex= disaster
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
