Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
