I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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