I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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