ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
