O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize