We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
