I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
