I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
