I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
