And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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