so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
