Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
