maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
