K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
