haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
