jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she peed on how many people?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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