How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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