I feel great
I just peed on a car
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
