i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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