Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think my vagina is haunted
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize