Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
