remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
