there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
