when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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