idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
