it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
