GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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