Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize