i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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