she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize