Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
