broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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