Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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