I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
