This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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