Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
