in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
