This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
