im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
