lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
